Tag Archives: grammar and style

I got trolls…

Troll01

These two have their mugshots displayed with Miske Dashow

Big FuGGlY TrOlls – camping out in my apartment.

Remember these guys? Or this post? Well, they are all back and they brought their big brothers… Mr. Grammar and Mr. Style.. They woke me up at 2 AM this morning. Yelling. Howling. Snarling. Growling.

“Passive  Voice – Consider Revising!” ~ [Not expecting anything out of the ordinary, we were woken in the middle of the night by the most horrifying howling.]

“Reflexive Pronoun Use – Consider Revising!” ~  [The Bear stopped, pulled out his tinderbox and lit two torches, gave one to me, kept the other for himself, and then motioned for Cloudy Sun to place himself between us. ]

“Fragment – Consider Revising!” ~ [Wood Dwellers? I asked, “Who are they?” He turned to me again, this time he smiled wryly.]

So, I am bad writer, because I use passive voice, and fragments, and adverbs and split infinitives and all kinds of things that are bad when writing. If I ever try to get anything I write published I will be shot for even thinking I could dare approach an editor with my grammatically distorted version of English.

I hate them trolls. Mostly because I believe them.

So if you’ll excuse me – I’ll just go and die with shame.

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The Ghost Editor and His Clan…

So far switching between the Main Story and Side Stories  is working out very nicely  and I have managed to put together over 1800 words in the last 24 hours! Though I have to admit that the Ghost Editor and all his Relatives are doing their best to spoil the fun for me  – one trick they came up with was particularly unpleasant – they kept accosting me with worries and nudges about STYLE, telling me in green underlining that MY English, according to them, is not worth a damn. Which is especially aggravating since the Stylist and I do not have the same ideas about what works and what does not. His suggestions are sometimes INSANE and only proves that HE does not know how to write plain English! For some reason the morons keeps insisting that ‘myself’ should be replaced with ‘me’ AT ALL TIMES, even when it’s perfectly proper to use ‘myself, as in ‘I gave myself a pat on the back…’

I found the solution to that – TURN OFF the damn language checking feature in Word 2010!!! By all means leave the spellcheck in place, but TURN OFF the Grammar and Style check – I’ll use that once there are 50000 words in the bank.

And then there’s the second cousin removed twice, who comes up with IDEAS as if they were confetti at a birthday party. There I am, plodding along in one of my neat Side Stories about Monsters in a Cave, when Mr. Bright Idea opens his yap and YELLS “An order of Cloistered MONKS!!! You need an Order of Cloistered Monks, for Heaven’s Sake!” OK, Mr. Smarty-pants…I hear you, but exactly where do you suggest I ‘insert’ an Order of Cloistered Monks? I mean, it’s not like they are in the habit of inhabiting caves full of oversized gargoyles. “Oh, I don’t know, I just had the idea”, he shrugs and traipses off telling me “You’ll think of something…” as he crawls back down the slimy crevice in my head where he lives…

You get the picture – in the middle of a cave full of oversized gargoyles I become possessed by the THOUGHTS of Cloistered Monks…

Now that I don’t have a solution to – YET.

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